Monday 4 April 2016

Descriptive writing

This week we have been writing about something we done in the Easter weekend. I wrote about laser strike Here is a paragraph.

I look at my health and then up and see Arielle shooting me from behind, I run away so she’s not shooting me when I regenerate. I get shot many times and don’t know how until I look around and see Sebastian shooting be in the shoulder from a long distance. I run and look towards most of the noise is coming from and see Ittai doing well. I run toward Tane to help him out while Mum is shooting him. I look at how much points I have, 3200, luckily you don’t get points taken off when you get shot. ‘THE GAME HAS ENDED’ I hear through the speaker.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Tarmpson
    It looks like you had great fun on Easter!
    How fun was laser strike?
    Could you get different guns like in Nerf?
    It was a great piece of descriptive writing because of all of the description.

    Jimmmmy

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.